December 28: All Grown Up

After graduation, maturity speeds up; it is as if one is a grown-up overnight regardless of how old they actually are.

I had that phase in 2012, once I have completed the journey of thesis-writing at the last day of February. I had two months to go before the graduation day, which I spent working on thesis revision and online job seeking, with applying for volunteer and youth exchange programmes in between. Turned out that I cannot do everything I want to do, let alone do everything at once, because of a grown-up responsibility I chose to assume: a full-time job.

So off I went to Jakarta a couple days after my graduation day to work as a magazine reporter. From the day on, I have been a morning person who rushes trying to do a lot of stuff early in the day, which includes dressing up with lipstick and heels before heading to the destination I call “office”, where I will be busy being busy at work. I remember growing up watching my mum doing such ritual, and now that I do that too, it feels like I cannot be any more of a grown-up.

I remember growing up with a frequent change of dream job. After all, it was the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” implied. I did want to be a doctor, then a stewardess, an actress, a scholar, and many more. I can even recall the dream of being a Cinderella (no thanks to the fairy tales with happy endings, Disney), which then scrapped away because the idea of having a stepmother was not appealing – and I want to earn the love of my so-called prince charming, not just because I had one dance with him and later left a shoe in front of his house.

Growing up, it seemed quite clear to me what I want to do, although unraveling the path was another matter entirely. Nevertheless, I have come to a realization that whatever dream you have achieved, it takes continuous hard work to keep it stay for real in your life.

Am now I the thing I used to dream myself to be? I am utterly not sure. I know that it is my desire to travel to the corners of the world and meet people so I can listen to their stories and write about them, enabling the rest of the earth to learn about them and keep their faith in humanity.

I believe that I am getting there.